Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Step Five: Getting Over It

“Well come on,” Hailey says as she pulls me out of the bedroom and into the living room, “it’s time to mourn.”

She turns on the TV to some random show, the voices blending with ours as we talked. We completely avoid the glowing screen as we talk through mouths full of candy.

After a few minutes, hands already sticky and tongues a brownish color from the artificially coloring, I got up and ran, powered by the sugar, into the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and take out the wine and then rummage through the freezer for the tubs of ice cream.

I take all the ice cream in my arms and take to the living room. Not before balancing the ice cream that I was holding in one arm on my knee and reaching into the drawer I grasp hold of cool metal. Spoons.

I take then in my hand and run, still hyper from the candy back into the living room. Everything seemed to be moving faster, like my life was a movie and someone had just pressed fast forward.

I dumped the Ice cream on the coffee table, along with the spoons and then go back into the kitchen. I take the wine, which I left on the counter and, stupidly, try and pull out the cork with my bare hands. After many sugar fuelled tries I gave up and found the bottle opener.

I screw it in and pull with all the strength my scrawny arms contained. Then the cork pops off. I toss the opener and cork onto the counter and rush back into my living room. I toss myself onto the couch and take a large sip of wine. I take the bottle from my lips and offer it to Hailey.

“No thanks, I’m good.”

I take another sip and I feel the alcohol work its magic and the energy the candy gave me was gone and I slowly began to relax.

I reach for a hand full of gummy worms when Hailey breaks the silence.

“So Peyton… who was this guy anyway?” She asked through heaping spoonfuls of rocky road ice cream.

“Don’t you remember Jordan?” I ask, I swallow the candy letting the artificial sour taste burn my tongue and throat.

She shakes her head, hair from her loose bun cascading around her face, as rocky road ice cream drips from the sides of her mouth.

“You met him before we started going out. When you took me out to that club, to help me get over…um… Martin… no—Marc… no…. Matt—yes Matt!”

Sometimes it was so hard to keep all these names straight in my head. If I had a dollar for every boyfriend whose name I mixed up with an old boyfriends I could retire.

“The guy that you left with!?” She exclaimed, she was in such a state of shock that she dropped her spoon in the tub of melting ice cream. The impact of the spoon sent some of the ice cream flying onto her face. “I thought he was just a fling! You know that bad things happen when you try and have a relationship with a fling!”

“I know I said that Hailey, but he wasn’t. After we left he took me to this little diner. We ordered coffee and we sat and talked for hours. He was so sweet to me; I just had to go out with him.” I said with a sigh as I think about out time together. More tears begin to form in my eyes now that I know that I will never have a moment like that again.

I picked up the wine bottle again and began to drink, hoping that the alcohol would stop the tears. I suddenly felt so hopeless, so alone. My heart was empty and I felt like no one could fill the void of my many heartbreaks. Then I felt Hailey’s hand on my shoulder. It felt like at that moment she had read my mine. I looked at her and our eyes locked.

“Everything’s gonna be okay Peyton. I promise.” Right then and there I knew that Hailey was the greatest friend a girl like me could ask for. She was so good and so amazing, I felt like I was her daughter and she was my mother, but in reality she was just a great person, and an even better friend. I trusted her and I knew that everything really was going to work out.

I didn’t need the seriousness of this moment anymore; I knew I was safe, protected; now it was time to have fun. I reached into a bowl and coiled my fingers around the candy, M&M’s; I picked up the chocolate and threw them at Hailey. At that moment the two of us burst out laughing. I was too busy clutching my sides to notice her retaliation when she threw gummy worms at me.

In a fit of laughter we both race to either side of my couch, the tension disappearing from the room. We each grab handfuls of candy left and right dodging whatever we could. Thorough out the fight our laughter never ceased. We were having too much of a good time to notice the mess we had made.

Exhausted Hailey and I flopped down onto the couch, both of us admitting defeat. We laid there in silence, catching our breath and then I examined the apartment. There was sugar and candy cascaded over the floor, there were crushed M&M’s everywhere and gummy candy squished, by our feet, onto the hard wood floor. There was even some sort of chocolate on the ceiling.

If that wasn’t messy enough the whole apartment was covered in a thin layer of sugar. Suddenly the room became silent, even the TV had shut itself off. Hailey and I examined the mess and then broke out into yet another fit of laughter. We laughed and laughed until oddly enough, Hailey began to cry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, the hilarity of the situation escaping my mind. The only thing on my mind was the concern I had for my friend.

“I don’t…know…its just….so…so,” she chokes out, between laughs.

“So what, so what!?” I asked, worried that something really could be wrong.

“Funny!” She spat out through more laughter.

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